As leaders and certainly in my case as an entrepreneur, heck, as human beings, a big part of what we spend time on is figuring “it” out. Whatever “it” is. “It” might be how to meet a goal, the right approach to solve a problem, learning something, unlearning something (yes, I’ve had to do that too!). And in this life, there’s a lot to figure out. Sometimes “it” can cause us to feel overwhelmed, or stuck, or uncomfortable in the not knowing of “it”.
All perfectly normal, but it doesn’t always feel that way. In recent months I’ve been asked a few questions, and have asked a few of my own, and in that curiosity found a guiding principle that is helping me move through the unknowing and figuring it out. I thought you might find it useful too.
I ask myself all three of these questions in succession.
1. What do I accept?
The definition of accept is ‘to believe or come to recognize as valid’ (Oxford Dictionary). I’ve found that if I can accept certain things, it allows me to feel grounded in deciding. Here’s a simple example. I accept that I only have so many hours in a day available to me for my work. Assuming I want to spend time on other things that benefit me (sleep, time with family, exercise…) then I must accept what time I’m willing to make available for work. Once I can accept the number of hours in each day, I feel more empowered to choose how to spend that time based upon my priorities. Yes, I have more priorities than a given day might handle, but that’s the power of choice. I can choose again!
2. What do I believe?
The definition of believe according to the Oxford Dictionary includes to (and I’m paraphrasing here) accept a statement as true, have faith, feel sure that someone is capable of something, or hold something as an opinion. I have used acceptance and belief interchangeably at times, but in this case, I separate them. When I hold this question, belief is about truth, faith and capability. In my example about time, the truth is that there are 24 hours in a day, and no one has more than those 24 hours, nor am I capable of consistently working all 24 hours. And honestly, who wants to?
3. What’s next?
I asked someone I was working with recently as it related to their success; how did you keep going? What thought prompted you to try? He said, I asked myself, “what’s next?” I love this question because this is an action question. Sometimes the answer is a simple, very small step. Again, it’s about choice. In my time for work scenario, what’s next might be that I’m going to start again tomorrow on a specific task. Say, writing a blog post!
When I think back about situations in which I didn’t know, or things felt murky or were out of sorts, this approach often played itself out. For me, step one had to happen before I could get to the next two. In a more vulnerable example, as I began my entrepreneurial journey, as with most people, I was unsure, not confident, and at times felt like I was wading through the murkiness. Am I doing this right? What happens if I miss something? What I accepted helped me propel things forward. I had to accept that although I’d never been an entrepreneur, I did have a significant amount of experience helping businesses thrive! From financial management to processes to planning. I knew some things. I had to accept that the story that I was not entrepreneur material was false. I also had to accept that growing a business doesn’t happen as quickly as I’d thought. I had to figure “it” out.
Given that acceptance, I believed that I could do just that and that I was capable! This allowed me to give myself permission to take the time to figure “it” out. I’ve done that by asking for help, accepting guidance and feedback (some of which I didn’t want to hear), applying what I’m learning, trying, and trying again. I’ve come to know myself in a way that I’ve come to admire.
What’s next? I have come to realize that this life is a big experiment in trying. I might as well have fun doing it! I’m learning from what my clients say they want and need, from others who’ve blazed a path before me, and from those who are willing to walk alongside me. And from that learning I choose a step or several and I keep trying. If I learn from the step and apply my guiding principles, I feel successful.
Recently someone shared with me that a key part of how they live daily is to start with something that they don’t want to do – something that sucks. It reminded me of my grandson’s t-shirt after running his first Spartan race. “Do Hard S*it”. Often, we’ll hear that it doesn’t have to be hard. But let’s face it, as humans “it” can feel hard. Embrace it. It helps you know what you’re capable of. What do you accept? You don’t have to accept it tomorrow, but what do you need to accept for today? What do you believe? I mean really believe. With that information, what do you want to do next?
I wish you much success with each step! If you want to understand more about how you might rise as a leader, and consider your own guiding principles, join me for my next Cultivate Your Rise leadership workshop. They are free of charge and take an hour of your time and I promise you’ll learn something about yourself! The next one is right around the corner. You can find more information here https://www.origincoaching.net/events
Images provided by Wix via AI (Anchor) and Unsplash with credit to Ryoji Iwata (Puzzle)
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